Figures within a matter of days, I've come down with this nasty sneak attack cold that's been going on and I've been trying to avoid like the black plague. I wash my hands like a religion, then Lysol every object the sick person had already touched. Looks like my fool proof plan, wasn't such a plan after all, I just feel like a fool for thinking I could of been germ free.
I'm going to try sleep, even though I feel like a rake scratched the back of my throat, and my nose is a runny mess. I'm the epitome of hot mess right now.
I met you at an awkward stage of my life, I began thinking for myself and trying to manage my sanity while being driven insane by my parents. You drove me to strive for better things, and think better and do better for myself. And the thought of losing a friend, because I was an idiot basically breaks my heart.
- Current Location:United States, Massachusetts, Wayland
- Current Mood: crushed
I still have the cough, where I feel my back curl and my kidneys scream for dear life. I still am exhausted, because the meds knock me out for most of the day and I'm in a drug acoma Dr. perscribed remind you. I'm really depressed, when I do feel better somone always has something to say to ruin the moment. I don't eat alot, but I've gained weight like a horse.
I'm starting to think, perhaps I need a strictly fluids diet since the nice man said continously you need fluids to help cure you of this. and what is this wonderful ailment I praise so much? Bronchitis, no drama, no bullsit stright out pain in the ass, what a way to start summer.
.... leave it up to me, to be the only idiot sick in the begining of summer. SHIT..
Almost got rid of this dirt nasty bronchitis epidemic. It's had me in it;s grasp for about a week, and mind you I've been sleepless most of that time. I can't sleep walk myself to the bathrroom to be sick, damn it all. I've paid for my account once more now that I have some time to give a slight preview into my now cursed and sick world, I'm almost free of the codine acoma the nice man gave me from the emergency room. Glad he did, or else I would be still losing weight and a stick figure on the bed. Lovely thought isn't it?
I'm ready to be well, and eat a normal meal once more. I need it to save my sanity, quite honestly.
A girls got to get her beauty sleep you know.
I've been sick for weeks at a time, but today there was some hope in me recovering from my allergies. I got sick, like hold the toilet bowl on the sides for dear life sick. I now feel like I'm melting, and have little energy at all. I just want to shower and then take a nap, and see where I go from there. Today was going to be the first day I felt normal and well for 2 weeks, got to love the false hope of allergies !
If I don't see little change at all soon, I'll be forced to go to the doctor. I can't procrastinate because it's my own health dangling on the line, and not a chore to put aside for later. To be quite frank with you I can;t honestly remember what healthy is, I have had such short intervals of it since I was younger.
I'm not sure what to do currently, I'm hot sweaty, full of fatigue but I still remain to have my sense of humor.
An endless spiral, of uncertainties. My main concern,,as always is my sanity. How do you know when to ngive up, and when to push yourself further to see how much firther you can go? I feel myself slipping, slolwly into a nothingless rutt and I'm grasping for anything but it's all loose ends. When you see an abyss, of which is supposed to be your foundation and it's to big to grasp onto. What are you to do?
And the one person I need, is barely giving me the time of day.
But that's my stupidity, kicking me in the ass once more.
I also gave my two week notice, at the retail store I worked 3 and a half years for. I wasn't going anywhere but crazy, to be absolutely honest with you. I get to actually dress nice, and not have navy blue shirt, and khakis on all the damn time. It's an office job, it's a small office so 10 people can't bark orders all at once. I'm excited and hopeful of this entire thing.
Also my only true muse, has stopped talking to me. I forgot about them while I was running around, like a chicken with her head cut off. They're mad and I can see why, I really am sorry. You're the rock that keep me rolling, you're an constant hope of light. Please don't give up on me, when I need you the most now. I'm absolutely lost, without you by my side.
Mark left for Germany hesitantly, then 5 days after being there he found out in October he's going to Iraq. But after 6 months of being over there, he can come home for 3 weeks. I get a chance every now and then to talk to him online, but being 6 hours ahead there is no really good time to call anyone. He also gave me his new German cell phone number. It's about 15 numbers long, I was like shit kid talk about a long distance number !
As for work, I'm trying to scrounge a office job. Kind of hard, when basically nobody is looking for anyone. I remain optimistic, I won't have to do my job along with thew other slackers jobs as well. I'm just tired of nasty attitudes being thrown at people, who have done absolutely nothing wrong to deserve them. That's gotten more then old, no wonder why the store is short staffed and nobody wants to work here. The only thing special about the place, is the store itself.
Gah and I've beeen helping people paint their places, move their junk and anyt5hing else possible to throw in the mix. I've burned myself out.